Coming Of Age Essay (Draft)

Many teenagers will give you a long story about a single experience that changed their life. It may have been something tragic like a death of a loved one or drama that was finally solved. Unlike those people who had a lightbulb click on for them, my story takes a while to explain. It all starts with sports, or more specifically volleyball. My growing up experience consists of three big events; the summer of running, a practice cut short, and a very important conversation. 

The first years of volleyball were probably some of the most important, now that I think of it. Playing with Jammers Volleyball Club was a big step up for me, coming from a team that did not even hold tryouts. At Jammers, I had a coach who rode me to the ground. In a way I guess you could say the way he treated us was very similar to the military or bootcamp but instead of push ups he would make me run for the rest of practice. Even though I resented this coach (and still actually do) I am very grateful to have gone through what I did. I learned to be a stronger person, listen to criticism without taking it personally, and lastly, even though not all coaches are always right, you have to play with the hand that you are dealt.

An actual point in my life where I felt like there was drama began as a regular practice held at Nu`uanu Congregational Church Guy. It did start off the same-getting pissed off at my teammates while trying not to punch them- but, it did not end like that. So, we were in the middle of a passing drill when our coach yelled for us to get on the line and run. I had no idea why we were running since I was trying to focus on not getting mad. But suddenly my coach starts yelling at me. Being surprised and confused, I was in a daze when he told me if I didn't want to be there to grab my Sh*t and get out. Normally, when people are yelled at, it doesn't mean that much. But, this time he continued yelling and told me bluntly to "Get the hell out of my gym". After grabbing my things and going outside it hit me,  that I had done something really wrong, which I should have realized earlier. Like many situations that are very tense, I started tearing then eventually full out crying. At first I really didn't know why I was crying. The only thing I remember doing is asking myself over and over again what had I done that was so wrong, and that if he knew why I did these things, if he would still be mad. After about half an hour of not knowing what to do and trying to stop crying, I got so fustrated that I took my phone and threw it flat on the concrete. Later, thinking that my phone was invincible because of going through the many times I dropped it, I went to go pick it up. But it was broken, of course. At the end of practice, everyone walked away from me without saying anything, including my coach. But, unlike my teammates I cried so hard on the way home that my dad had to go driving around for an hour until I calmed down. The next practice we had, I had no idea what to expect. Hands shaking, I walked into the gym when my coach called me over. During this time I finally told him about how pissed off I get with my teammates and myself. Feeling relieved , I let him know how nobody on our team really supported each other, and many other things I really thought he should know. At the end of this practice, I mended things with the team, and we simply got on with our season. From this experience, I learned that its not good to hold in anger, you should tell people what you need to say, and that even though bad things happen to you there will always be a “next play” that needs you in it.

               One of the most important events that played a role in my growning up is something that happened away from home, all the way in  Columbus, Ohio for a national volleyball tournament. Four days of playing in, we were all tired and after our not so good record many of us wanted to give up. In the end that is exactly what I ended up doing, but not because I was physically tired, instead tired of trying so hard when no one else was. This ended up not being a good idea when I was benched for more than half of the rest of the game. Then, for the entire length of the game that followed ours (which is about an 90 minutes), I had a conversation with my coach about too many topics to list. The big thing that still sticks with me today is when he told me how he had rooted for me for three years when there was no other coach who believed in me. Being one of the mentally slower kids on the team, I always realized things that my friends got instantly. I wondered so much why I wasn’t able to do the things that they were to the point that I was desperate for answers. After questioning my coach, I learned that yes, everyone is different, and that nothing will be fair in life. But, going through difficult things can make you a better person than those who hadn’t gone through what you did. And, this did prove to be true because being able to survive three of four days was more than I could have done before I went through the shortened practice I talked about. This event conversation helped me grow up because I got to practice perseverance, learned that learning takes time, and that everyone is different. 

In conclusion, I know that people would probably talk about having someone pass away be the turning point in their life where they grew up, but I don’t learn that quickly. Being a part of volleyball helped me grow in my skills and as a person. Some may say that sports is useless to society, but honestly I know personally that that statement is false. I’ve become a stronger person mentally, learned that you have to move on quickly, and that learning takes a lot of time. I did learn this from sports, but what also helped me in life and in sports was a book I read titled, “_______”. This taught me so many things about what the famous athletes go through and learn, but the one thing I can say that I took out of it was about attitude towards things or perspective. I learned about how everything you do is effected by how you look at things, and that you can improve yourself without even touching a ball.