Can she do anything right?
Bring honor to the family name?
Nothing.
Hopeless.
Shame.
That's what she feels
When you yell her name
She cannot be that good little girl
She cannot be the perfect bride
Just dissapointment would come
Only if one tried
She's sorry
But not
I cannot change who I was made to be.
The edge of the sword slices through her hair
A final step from trying to be
The perfect girl
To go against the standards of the world
The impracticable things she does,
She do for you
For as long as you're fine
It doesn't really matter
that soul of mine
But then she realizes
Maybe she does it for her
Does the pressure of the weights
Drag her down
Or pull her up higher
To feel of worth
And not just dirt?
Now she sits atop the beam so narrow
As the champion
that finally reached the arrow.
Bring honor to the family name?
Nothing.
Hopeless.
Shame.
That's what she feels
When you yell her name
She cannot be that good little girl
She cannot be the perfect bride
Just dissapointment would come
Only if one tried
She's sorry
But not
I cannot change who I was made to be.
The edge of the sword slices through her hair
A final step from trying to be
The perfect girl
To go against the standards of the world
The impracticable things she does,
She do for you
For as long as you're fine
It doesn't really matter
that soul of mine
But then she realizes
Maybe she does it for her
Does the pressure of the weights
Drag her down
Or pull her up higher
To feel of worth
And not just dirt?
Now she sits atop the beam so narrow
As the champion
that finally reached the arrow.
I can at least decipher that you are alluding to Mulan, but I got it confused with the princess in that movie brave. The poem does match you, but there needs to be a line, song, or event from the movie that will show that it is Mulan.
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the allusion. Mulan is clear in the poem and you did a great job trying to connect it to yourself. Please watch for you person shifts "I" and "she." Also, maybe try to emphasize culture and how living up to expectations is a part of your own ethnic culture, so that we won't get is confused with any other disney movie. MS(3-)
ReplyDeleteJoy, I like how you are alluding to mulan just like me haha. Anyways, I can tell that you are alluding to her because some of your lines tell the scene of the movie. For example: "The edge of the sword slices through her hair". I think you should show more about how you are like Mulan. Other than that good job!
ReplyDelete